The Brancatelli File for 2018
WHAT TO KNOW ABOUT JOE
Joe Brancatelli is a publication consultant, which means that he helps media companies start, fix and reposition newspapers, magazines and Web sites. He is also the former executive editor of Frequent Flyer magazine and has been a consultant to or columnist for more business-travel and leisure-travel publishing operations than he can remember. He began his career as a business reporter and created JoeSentMe.com in the dark days after 9/11 while stranded in a hotel room in San Francisco. He lives on the Hudson River in Cold Spring, New York.
May 24: SUMMER BUSINESS CLASS BARGAINS DISAPPEAR
I know what you're thinking: Memorial Day weekend is the perfect time to plan a summer vacation to Europe or Asia and score a great summer business class deal. Yeah, um, see, about that ... They're gone. Not sold-out gone. Gone as a concept. Getting a good summer deal to Europe or Asia now is a hard slog and prices are insane by the standard of just a few years ago.
May 17: DELTA LIES TO PROTECT EVEN LARGER LIES
You know how angry you get when an airline ticket agent or gate agent or a flight attendant straight up lies to you? Want to know where they get the moxie? Permit me to direct your attention to Ed Bastian, chief executive of Delta Air Lines. Crazy Eddie and other airline C-suiters are intellectual leaders of an industry that surfs on an all-too-obvious web of distortions, deceptions and disinformation.
May 10: LUGGAGE LUNACY
The luggage industry is a Babel of brands and a Potemkin village of choice. What's the "ideal" bag for you? How do I know? But I do have some thoughts about how you can find the right bag for your needs.
May 6: ONE OF THOSE WEEKS ON THE ROAD
It could be one of those weeks on the road, so I thought it wise to update you on several situations that could complicate our travel. Rail and aviation strikes in France, travel disruptions in Italy and the volcanic eruptions and earthquakes in Hawaii will make for a tricky week of travel.
May 3: PRISONERS OF OUR OWN HOTEL DEVICES
Hate the games Marriott is playing with the combined Marriott and Starwood programs? Hate how Hyatt eviscerated its new plan? Hate the almost weekly devaluations at Hilton? I quote Hotel California: We are prisoners of our own device. And we can never leave. Unless, you know, we want to. And, really, we should want to. Some thoughts and details on alternate lodging chains.
April 19: MARRIOTT THINKS WE'RE STUPID
Ripping a chapter from the Delta SkyMiles bait-and-switch playbook, Marriott told us all this week that it thinks we are stupid, rubes ready for the plucking. Marriott's new combined frequency program not only does nothing for you unless you stay 50 nights a year, but Marriott won't even tell you about the huge devaluation buried in the award charts that it will not release.
April 5: HOW TO GET SOME SATISFACTION
Everybody has complaints. I've compiled these dozen tips for a great complaint letter after dozens of years helping business travelers get restitution for any number of travel industry foul-ups. I cannot guarantee 100 percent success, but follow this 12-step program and you'll turn most legitimate gripes into a satisfactory resolution.
March 22: THE HARD, FAST, SHAMELESS FALL OF BRITISH AIRWAYS
Want to understand how far and how fully British Airways has fallen since it pioneered lie-flat beds in business class in 1999? Take this simple quiz: Which carrier is BA better than in business class across the Atlantic? The answer will shock you--and explain why BA is only a good transatlantic buy at a deep, deep discount.
March 19: SPRING'S EXISTENTIAL STORM
After three Nor'easters in three weeks, spring arrived in the Northern Hemisphere. And along with it came a fourth winter storm. Go figure. It was big and dropped big, wet flakes from Boston to Washington. Airlines dumped thousands of flights and business travelers shrugged. Eventually you just become immune to these things. Meanwhile, things took a nasty turn in Europe, which was still suffering with its own bad weather. A general strike whacked the French air traffic control system at approximately the same time as a railroad strike and an Air France strike hit transportation options.
March 15: SHOULD YOU FLY NORWEGIAN'S PREMIUM CABIN? UM ...
Norwegian's premium cabin is much more than legacy carriers' premium economy, but much less than business class. So this is a fair conclusion: The less you pay, the more you will like the premium cabin. At $1,100 roundtrip, I give my flights a solid B. If I had paid the $2,200 walk-up price, however, I would grade on a tougher curve. Here's what you need to know, good and bad, about this disruptive product.
March 8: TRAVEL IS A WASTE OF TIME ... LITERALLY
Travel, my friends, is a waste of time. Literally. The entire process seems designed to make our lives less efficient, less convenient, less sensible, less fun and, yes, less interesting. Travel is now a schedule-busting, soul-crushing, spirit-killing, life-sapping waste of time.
March 3: SEVEN DAYS IN MARCH
After early January's "bomb cyclone" and mid-January's icy weather and snows, the weather was strangely quiescent. And as March approached, there was the giddy assumption that we had dodged the worst of the winter weather in the Northern Hemisphere. Best laid plans, I guess. Back-to-back storms in the MidAtlantic and Northeast in the first few days of March destroyed our travel options. Meanwhile, Western Europe was buried in rain, frozen over in frigid temperatures and then pounded with rain. They were even throwing snowballs at the Vatican. In other words, it was winter after all ...
March 1: ARMANI AND JULIET IN VERONA
All of the Italys--the fabulously ornate past, the effortlessly sleek present, the hopelessly romantic dream and the tourist-besotted reality--come together in Verona, a small city almost exactly halfway between Milan and Venice on the high-speed train line. And everything you need to know about all of the Italys can be found at a particular house on the Via Cappello.
February 22: NOBODY ASKED ME, BUT ...
American Airlines is winning the race to the bottom--and it doesn't want you to claim even their crappy seats as awards. ... A new Holiday Inn Express says its rooms mimic business class seats. ... Priceline's celebrity-studded ads apparently don't work as well as the more anonymous Booking.com campaign. ... For reasons known only to itself, Qatar Airways wants to challenge hopelessly overmatched Alitalia. And plenty of snark to end the month.
February 15: THE EXISTENTIAL CRISIS AT CATHAY PACIFIC
Hong Kong-based Cathay Pacific is one of the world's best carriers. But how does it make money and continue to offer legitimately premium service when coach seats to Asia sell for around $650, premium economy sells for less than coach cost a few years ago and business class fares are plunging? This is an existential question for business travelers in general and Cathay in specific. How it is answered will define how we travel for years to come.
February 8: RELEASE THE SNARK
It's been a weird week on the road and off it. Let's just concentrate on the wild stuff that happened on the road this week. Luckily, I have a complete supply of snark to guide you through it.
February 1: THE OFFICIAL 'CRUMBLING INFRASTRUCTURE' COLUMN
Topic of today's lesson: Travel infrastructure and how nobody takes it seriously in America. Anything and everything related to transportation in this country is broken, about to break and/or being held together with spit, bailing wire and whatever industrial-strength binding agent Trump uses on his hair. No one wants to pay for it, plan for it or cares that airports, roads, seaports and railroads are uncompetitive and substandard.
January 25: AIRLINE SKYGODS ARE ALWAYS RIGHT. UNTIL THEY'RE NOT.
We business travelers--tin men and scarecrows, cowardly lions and Dorothys all--are usually too busy to laugh in the face of the airline SkyGods who are always right until they are wrong. But this week, given some epic airline asshattery, it is worth stopping for a moment and laughing heartily in their smug, fat faces.
January 18: (CREDIT) CARD TRICKS
Once upon a time, there were airlines. And hotels. And credit cards. Distinct. Separate. Each an empire to itself. Now? It is all a blob, a mix of push-and-pull and politics and clashing corporate egos and cultures. You can't talk about one without the other, can't judge value without weighing a forest of financial data and frequent travel patterns. Here's what to know now to protect yourself.
January 15: ICE STATION
In five months, Houston has suffered through a massive hurricane and three "snow events." But go ahead, continue to be a climate change denier. It's a good look as you cool your heels at an airport club trying to figure out why your flight to New Orleans was dumped due to icy runways. Meanwhile, a wide slice of the nation, from Texas to New England, experienced a nasty storm that dumped snow where it almost never snows and frigid temperatures in cities with pipes and homes without insulation. Here's how we dealt with this week's dystopia.
January 11: I PREDICT THIS COLUMN WILL BE WRONG
Here's the problem with beginning-of-the year prediction columns: If you can predict it, it's not news. It's the unpredictable that is genuinely newsworthy. News is what happens while you're predicting what the news will be. So here's the best I can do: I'll try to predict as far out of the box about life on the road in 2018 as possible. And I won't pick "chalk," as the old horseplayers would say.
January 3: METEOROLOGICALLY SPEAKING, A BOMB OF A STORM
It's pretty safe to say that business travelers never heard the terms "bomb cyclone" or "cyclogenesis" or "bombogenesis" before the storm that raked the entire Eastern Seaboard during the first week of 2018. From Florida (where temperatures dropped to the mid-30s and Tallahassee saw its first snow in more than 20 years) to New England (where streets flooded in Boston and regional snowfall hit 18 inches), transportation ground to a halt. Here is how we covered it.
These columns originally appeared at JoeSentMe.com.
Copyright © 1993-2018 by Joe Brancatelli. All rights reserved.